A new docudrama a la The Real House Wives premiered on Swedish television. The house wives participating in the Swedish soap called Swedish Hollywood Wives  are Swedish women who have married rich and successful men in Hollywood, USA. The first episode of the series had more than 600 000 viewers, making it the most watched television program at the 9.00 pm time slot.

One of the house wives is Anna Anka, made and born in Poland, adopted to Sweden as a three-year-old  married since 2008 to Paul Anka, born Paul Mustapha Abdi Anka by Lebanese immigrants in Canada.  

Anna Anka had an interview published on the Swedish web site newsmill.se where she expressed her wish to be considered a role model for Swedish women and that Swedish men are to equal  and should not become diaper- changing house maids they should instead become more like American men, who according to Anna know how to treat a woman but cannot spend more than 20 minutes with their kid without having a panic attack.  Anna Anka became known in Hollywood when she was arrested after hurling an ice cube at Paul Anka  causing a head injury that needed hospital care.  Paul Anka excused her behavior as being stress from a custody battle with her former husband, Bill Yeager (I do not know if he is an American man).   Anna Yeager met Paul Anka she was working as a personal trainer following a career as photo model.  

Anna Anka’s comments have caused some upset feelings in Sweden, the country of “lagom”, just  enough,  and “jamstalldhet” equality between the sexes.  Obviously it is not politically  correct to claim that being a so called house wife can be the goal in life for a Swedish woman.  To also claim that such a person would be a role model for Swedish women is of course provocative. I do not understand though, how such an uneducated, rather ignorant rant such as the article published by newsmill.se can cause such an uproar in Sweden.

 I have translated parts of the interview that was published in Swedish on www.newsmill.se and added my personal reflections, being a Swedish woman married to an American man, living in the USA.

Anna Anka: “I want to become a role model for Swedish women. In Sweden it is allowed to let oneself degrade, as soon as one has caught a man. I feel sorry for Swedish men. They marry beautiful women that quickly turn unattractive, dress themselves in rags and ignore their husband’s needs.”

Well, Anna, I do not see any difference in Swedish and American women when it comes to the married life style.  I agree with you though, that some married women do let themselves become unattractive and that one can always work on self improvements in all areas of life.  I also think that the norm of our societies the US and the Swedish is the marriage between man and women and that people tend to be suspicious against or feel sorry for unmarried women, so maybe you are right about your selection of the word catch a man instead of marrying, falling in love or meet a man. I know life in Hollywood is a rat race.  The amount of fresh, young, uber-beautiful women prepared to do just about anything to catch a rich man is overwhelming and the competition is more than tough.  I admire your hard work and competetiveness to have caught a rich man to marry in Hollywood.  I agree with you that in your case you do need to look good every day and that you need to maintain your looks to stay in your marriage.  

Being a trophy wife is very hard work, trophy wives are selected for their looks and will be exchanged when they no longer fulfill their role as a decorative object to hang onto your arm for the next gala premiere.  The ability to sexually satisfy their men, for trophy wives, is not always important, rich and successful men can actually buy whatever they want and in Hollywood, I am sure,  you can buy almost every service you can imagine.    

Anna Anka: It was so nice to come to a country [USA]where men know how to treat a woman. Here men take care of the economy, anything else would be an insult to the woman and to the man in the relationship. Overall, American men have so much more style than Swedish men. If you go to a business lunch it never happens that the woman pays, while a Swedish man does not hesitate to insult the woman by allowing her to look for money while he himself is calculating his part of the bill. American men know how to woe a woman. They are very romantic and buy expensive gifts.

This is a stereotype that of course not is true for all Swedish and American men. I have met very romantic Swedish men and I must say that my American husband is not much for buying me expensive gifts and he is not the romantic type. He does pay for lunch and dinner when we eat out.  

Anna Anka: Then we have the dads.  Swedish dads are pathetic, changing diapers and their equality. A real American man panics if he is alone with his kid for more than 20 minutes. American dads do not cook, they do not iron their clothes, they work and support their families.

Well, Anna, you make the American dads look like good-for-nothing dinosaurs.  My American husband and other American men I know, do spend more time with their kids than 20 minutes without panicking, they do change diapers, they cook and they support their families.  We currently live in a middle class area in the USA and I do not see such a big difference between the married life here and in Sweden.  The difference would be for the young married couple that has children. The parents  cannot stay at home with their children for as long time as we can do in Sweden. They are not paid by the state to do so here.  I do not see the typical American husband having a problem staying at home with the kids if his wife needs to work.  My brother-in-law took care of the kids in his first marriage, it was no big deal for him to change diapers or drive the kids to kindergarten.  I do not think it made him feel less manly or that he was pitied by other men.  

Anna Anka:  American men however, appreciate their wives, they are very romantic. They write little notes, call and leave love messages on the phone. Swedish men never do that.

At this point, to me, it sounds like Anna is very bitter and might have been dumped or rejected by one or more Swedish men.  I never had a love note from my American husband that is not his way of showing me his love. I have dated some pretty romantic and gorgeous Swedish men though.  

Anna Anka: and the Swedish people are upset over the fact that I am married to an older man......Remember that people that try to make you look small, are really trying to drag you down to their own level, and that people have the ability to focus on the negative. No one puts up a sign saying Watch out for the nice dog!

After having poured negativity over Swedish men and women for being ugly and more or less good for nothing, Anna now wants everyone to focus on the positive, I guess that would be Anna herself, the role model for everything good in life. It is nothing wrong with having good self- confidence and a drive.  Hopefully you can make a good life without belittle other people such as the Swedish men and women and ridicule American men by claiming that they would panic being alone with kids.  

Anna Anka: Here [in the USA sic] the mums do not nag on their daughters about education and going to college, instead they encourage them to find an athlete or a celebrity! Isn’t that wonderful?

WTF, excuse my language.  This is insulting to American women. Even the wing nuts in The Real House Wives series here in the USA nag on their daughters to go to college and get an education.

Anna Anka: If you employ someone in Sweden they must have education and be qualified [for the job sic]. Here [in the USA] illegal immigrants such as Mexicans do the job. They do the dishes, clean the house, do the yardwork. I have a huge yard and four gardeners. I make sure they can support their families. They do not even speak English. It is like talking to a wall, they do not even know how to spell their own names. Sometimes it is very frustrating.

Do you realize how mad I get when I spend huge amounts of money on my lawns and then they destroy what I have invested hundreds of thousands of kronor? It is no wonder that one gets furious and yells at them. But I do not insult them. I take care of them and make sure they live in good areas, close to work so that they do not have to sit in the traffic. I send them on vacations and make sure their families fair well.  

Well, Anna, it might not be such a bad idea to employ someone who is qualified to do the job and also understand instructions to avoid misunderstandings.   I think it is very insulting to the Mexican work force here in the USA to claim that they cannot spell their own names and that they do a bad job. My experience of Mexican workers is that they are reliable, honest workers and that they do have an as good education as many Americans.  The fact that you get frustrated and yell at them might indicate that you yourself have anger issues, hurling ice cubes at your husband’s head also indicate that you get frustrated easily.  I would also think that it is illegal to employ illegal immigrants in Hollywood.

Anna Anka:  What I would like to say is that in the USA it is all about service. It employs a lot of people who otherwise would have lived in poverty. If the Swedish people had learnt from the USA the Swedes would have time for each other.  Now they come home and are in a bad mood and need to clean the house and iron clothes. There is no quality time. Then we have a gigantic problem with the new Internet generation. It is uneducated and cheap, and their lives on blogs and twitter are pointless.

What exactly should Sweden learn from the USA, Anna has mentioned that she prefers to employ uneducated, non-English speaking, illegal immigrants for her service needs.  Yes, there is a problem in Sweden as well with illegal immigrants that are employed without any rights or protection from the society from abusive employers.  I thought that the whole idea with democracy and freedom was based on the fact that people are educated to that they can participate in society by knowing and understanding  their rights and their duties.  The wages for service people are very low in the USA, and many employees in the service sector are forced to have two or three jobs to support their families.  I do not know when these people would have time to clean their homes, iron their clothes or even have the time or energy to fight. They are busy working!

I do not understand the rant about the Internet generation being uneducated, maybe you refer to the girls that did not find the football star or the celeb to marry and now spew their frustration all over the web and Internet, just like you do Anna. I feel sorry for you that you cannot enjoy what you aimed to achieve now when you finally married your rich and famous man in Hollywood. Maybe it wasn’t that fab  after all!  Do not worry though, if you get tired of satisfying the needs of your rich and romantic man, there will the thousands of tall, blonde girls waiting to take your place.

I took some time to discuss your article with my daughters, 16 and 13 years old. They do work hard in school and look forward to study at college and fulfill their dreams of having a career within their areas of interest. I think they both feel that catching a husband is the least interesting project of their future. Honestly I do not think I know any American mother that does not want her daughter to go on to college and get a good education.  

Well, Anna these are just some comments from a Swedish woman, married to an American man,  I actually write this letter wearing sweat pants purchased at Wal-Mart. My husband loves them as they are so easy to pull off.